i don't like talking about my flair.

ill met by moonlight.

the fire, of course, is you.
farscape: aeryn
gorthead
So, I like to think I am a pretty sane person. I (obviously) love being fannish about things, but I can also, shockingly, spend entire evenings with friends without busting out the nerd too hard (well, depending on the friends!) As much as I joke, I've never genuinely operated under the delusion that fiction is reality, or that I am secret soulmates with Chris Pine or what-have-you.

That said, I feel like everyone has a celebrity or two that they feel a little bit connected to. Not in a crazy "we knew each other on another plane" or "we are destined to meet and be lovers" way, but...you know. I've written and rewritten a few sentences here and can't really come up with something that doesn't sound crazy, but you're picking up what I'm putting down, right? What I'm saying is that I fucking adore Elizabeth Taylor; she was hilarious, intelligent, gorgeous but self-deprecating, strong, and fierce as hell, but still a romantic. I know I mentioned it last summer when I was reading Furious Love, but I just admire the shit out of this woman, and was amazed by how many of the things she said were things I completely agreed with, or wish I'd said myself. We're similar in a lot of (occasionally self-destructive) ways -- not that I would dare to compare myself to Elizabeth freakin' Taylor, but, you know -- and as much shit as she's gotten for how she lived her life, I don't think I'd have done a thing differently.

So, I'm sad today. I did cry a little bit, and though I tried to make myself feel crazy for it, I think I'm allowed. We were obviously never going to meet, but it's still difficult to grasp the fact that she's not alive anymore. I just watched Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? for no reason the other day, just because I needed some Taylor/Burton in my life, and I'd forgotten how much I love that film. It was still totally fresh in my mind and it's crazy to think that someone so passionate and vibrant can just...die.

I am glad it was today, though. I spent the night at my friend Laura's last night, after a night of wine and girl talk and general good times. I woke up and thought to myself, bizarrely, that London had never felt more like Toronto. Laura's neighbourhood essentially is the Annex, to the point that it's bizarre, and walking around I was just in a great mood and everything just felt very much like home. When I got back to my place I went on a decorating binge, putting up pictures & posters I'd collected over the past month or so (including one of Elizabeth) and having an apartment dance party despite my extreme wine-induced headache. Then I headed down to the Bluebird to fill out some employment tax forms, and left to find a voice mail from Meghan in Canada. It began, "are you okay?" which sort of alarmed me because for some reason the first thing I thought was someone I knew died in a plane crash (I don't know why my mind went to plane crash -- no one I know was flying!) buuuut then she continued "Elizabeth Taylor died", so that cleared that up.

Anyway, I couldn't believe she'd call long-distance to say that, but I'm so glad! It was nice to hear a human saying it and not just have some terrible shock when I came home to Twitter. It was so unexpected, though, that I just sort of stood on the sidewalk in the sun staring at my phone going, "Wait, what?" and then sort of zombied my way home. (Totally a verb.) It was such an unbelievably perfect London day, though, and if I believed in that sort of thing I'd say it was her coming home and making everything bright and shiny for a bit. It's a nice thought, anyway.

So then my hangover hit me hard and I just took a three-hour nap and had lovely dreams that I was on a beach. It's now not even 10 PM and I'm definitely ready for bed, even though I've still not packed for Oxford! Laura and I are spending the weekend there and I must say I'm looking so forward to getting out of the city and just having a fabulous & silly time.

Now, bed.

And maybe when I get back from Oxford I'll rewatch Cleopatra. (Whatever, you guys can judge me, but I've seen that movie 3 times already and genuinely love it for all its cheese. And the costumes. And the fact that everyone in it is unbelievably gorgeous. And the scene where Elizabeth Taylor rolls out of a carpet. You know, the usual reasons for liking any movie.)

these are the fables on my street
sbp: private clinches
gorthead
Today it was actually so hot and sunny outside that I felt myself tanning while sitting on the fountain steps at Piccadilly Circus reading China Miéville's King Rat. In a t-shirt. It's supposed to be even warmer tomorrow!

I also saw Submarine and it was super-adorable. Definitely worth seeing, I say! It won't change your life but it will improve its quality for about 2 hours! I wish I'd been that self-aware when I was in high school!

Tomorrow morning I have a job interview and I've chosen "right before bed" as the perfect time to start getting nervous about it. Perfect!!

Goodnight, everyone!

it was crime at the time, but the laws have changed
sbp: mooooony
gorthead
Today was glorious!

I slept in much too late, woke to open curtains and sunlight streaming into the room, got caffeinated, took a stroll, came home, opened all my windows, blasted The New Pornographers while I cleaned my entire apartment/danced around a lot, looked at pictures of Elizabeth Taylor & Richard Burton (major hobby), received photos from Bonnie of her BC road trip, Skyped with my parents, and now I am watching Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

One of those days where I didn't really do much, but just felt so amazing. My place is clean and uncluttered and airy, I have a job interview on Tuesday, I'm going to Oxford for the weekend on Thursday, and my family's coming for a visit in 11 days. I still kind of feel like I want to dance around, goddamn I love the spring!

:)

now i am basically staring out of my window, this is a totally legit pastime.
st tos: kirk/spock
gorthead
Well, so much for updating daily! Whatever, I had a pretty good run! I was in kind of a mental & physical funk the past couple days anyway; I had a borderline-cold (this is a real thing) and it was just cold and rainy and generally depressing.

I had my first shift at Bluebird, which was actually super-fun while being totally mindless. It mostly consisted of opening doors for people and, you know, seating them. For obscenely good tips, since they're pooled and it's a classy restaurant-slash-martini bar for rich people. Also their clientele seems to consist almost entirely of attractive men? I can totally work this until I've saved up enough to go on a European wander!

(Of course, yesterday a TV production company I applied at called me to come in for an interview on Monday, so I'm going to do that and then I'll have some Life Choices to make, provided the interview goes well.)

Weird observation: last night I think I really noticed the movement of the moon for the first time. My bedroom and kitchen windows give this perfect perfect view of all sky-related phenomena -- they face south, and I somehow get the sunrise, the sunset, and the moon, along with planes taking off from/landing at Heathrow, and it is amazing -- and last night I couldn't help notice how crazy-bright the moon was. I went about my business, watched the new Community and Parks & Rec (GOD I LOVE THAT SHOW TIMES ONE BILLION. "That's what makes the sauce so awesome!") and then when I went back to the kitchen the moon had moved entirely across the window. Obviously it does this daily, but I'd never actually seen like that before.

Anyway I was suspicious about how bright it was, and it turns out that tonight is a supermoon!! The first since 1992! I have actually changed movie plans so that I will be home to see the sunset and then the full moon. ...Now that I've written it, I realize I sound like a crazy person, and I don't really have a defense beyond "space is really cool ok?!"

TODAY was so unbelievably warm & gorgeous that I set out for a walk and ended up walking all the way to Soho? It happens! I stopped for lunch and then went back to Green Park and sat on the lawn reading Harry Potter in the sun for a bit. It was so fantastic and I cannot wait until it's really summer and it doesn't start getting chilly again at 4 PM. I honestly think when I grow up I need to move to the south of Spain or somewhere it never goes below 15 degrees ever. Even today when I had to put my coat back on I got all disgruntled and annoyed at life and humans. And then I took the bus back home and HP kept almost making me cry; when will I learn not to read the endings of those books in public? Never. Never is the answer.

In other news, though: HOLY CRAP IT IS 6 PM AND STILL BROAD DAYLIGHT. I swear to god in December it would start getting dark at 3:45, which, WHAT. And next week we put the clocks forward and it will be broad daylight at 7 PM. I cannot even comprehend this. My quality of life will be THE BEST EVER, you guys!

also in jars: a pile of hedgehogs and the world's largest sea bass.
hercules: meg
gorthead
Wilson: Maybe...talk to someone?
House: Already scheduled.
Wilson: ...Really?
House: I'm not an idiot. I know I need help.
Wilson: ...okay! That's...great.
[long pause]
Wilson: I meant, like a counsellor.
House: I know.
Wilson: But...you meant a hooker.
House: Yeah. Baby steps.


Today I went to see a giant squid and learned that the Natural History Museum has a shetland pony in a jar. There is nothing else I can tell you about today that will top that.

Oh I should also point out that my face lit up with absolute glee when we got to see the room where flesh-eating beetles clean the bones of specimens. If that's wrong, I don't want to be right. There's also a webcam! These beetles have the sweetest-ass life. Imagine if your entire job was sitting in a room and eating all day. Sounds like a plan!

today's actual grocery store impulse buy: chupa chups. seriously.
potc: jack/elizabeth
gorthead
YESSSSS you guys today I got a definite position hostessing at this classy-as-shit restaurant that is a 10-minute walk from my place, allows me to wear fancy dresses, and guarantees unbelievable tips (according to the manager, who is the nicest, friendliest person of all time in the entire world...and we have similar senses of humour). Anyway basically I have a hard-on for everything about this job and all is right with the world!!

Oh I also found out from a legitimate model agency lady that I should be modeling (print obviously, since I can stand up erect in an airplane seat without my head even touching the ceiling). Oh but too bad it costs £390 to get photos taken HA HA NOPE, NO THANK YOU, I will stick to semi-inebriated photos on Facebook. She kept insisting that I would make it back immediately (and the money wasn't even going to her, but some photographer she knew?) as though I HAVE the money lying around to SPEND. It was a pretty great compliment, though?!?!

The rest of my day can pretty much be summarized by these emails I exchanged with Meghan:

SO, UM, IT TURNS OUT KRAKEN IS ALL ABOUT STAR TREK? As if I could love it even more!Collapse )

At this point I went and bought China Miéville's first book, King Rat, because obviously I will be reading his entire oeuvre over the next few weeks. (Also king rats scare the everloving shit out of me, so I'm already nervous.)

I also, you know, went and got my ass hired, so that was productive! (I lied about putting the job search on hold, though did seriously consider not going to the hiring fair because I was getting super into the book. I made good life choices in the end, though!!)

Then I went to the Natural History Museum for a bit, came back to my hood, bought some bananas, read some Star Trek fic, the uuuusual. I've only got 100 pages left of Kraken now, so if I don't finish tonight, I definitely will tomorrow!! I'm also going to go on the behind-the-scenes tour of the Natural History Museum tomorrow to see the actual giant squid that it was based on because I am a huge nerd and of course that is what I'm doing tomorrow. I am very excited!!! YAY LONDON.

Here, have a photograph outlining my evening plans (and proving to you that my subject line is not a lie)!Collapse )

we're taking a ride, we're looking for stars, we're looking for satellites.
futurama: leela skulls
gorthead
I am confused. How it only 8:45 PM? How? Man, I thought yesterday I did all of the things?! Today:

1) Couldn't fall asleep until after 2 AM.
I suspect that the massive "decaf" Americano I had at 7PM last evening was nothing of the sort, and so I mainlined three shots of espresso shortly before bed. I do not appreciate this, Starbucks barista. I climbed into bed at around 11 then just rolled around checking things on my Blackberry until I fell asleep cradling it. This is my life, these are my choices.

2) Woke up on my own at 7:30.
Yeah, I don't know, what!

3) READ MORE KRAKEN.
I love this book, I love it!!

4) Saw Keith Richards' twin on the Kings Road.
Like.......twins. Fuckin' eerie.

5) Went in for my trial shift at the cafe.
Okay. Let's get real here. Personally, I had a pretty fun time, thought I did pretty damn well considering, and discovered that serving is 100% exactly like playing Diner Dash. I mean, I'm talking the hearts above people's heads are practically in neon. However, some issues: The manager had me come in the day they switched computer systems. This means a new point-of-sale procedure, and new seating software, neither of which anyone was really clear on how to use. Add to this the fact that it had completely random table numbers missing and was buggy, and you get pandemonium.

Basically, everything was handwritten all day. But the manager didn't want me taking actual orders, just seating people. However, because it was pandemonium and no one was assigned to any section, I clearly ended up taking people's orders. But wasn't allowed to write them down or even attempt to use the computer system, because I was just "seating people". So what they asked me to do was go track down an actual server, repeat the order to them, and have them put it in to the kitchen. This.......frankly, this was nonsense. I didn't forget or mess up a single order, so it's not as I though I needed a pad & paper (and trust me, no one was more surprised by this than I was), but the fact that I had to go through a middleman to put them in? Nonsense.

The same deal happened with getting people's bills, too. The machines & the pads of paper were off-limits to me, since, again, I was "just seating"...but every other server kept legitimately abandoning their tables, so I had to run around asking anyone who was nearby for poor people's bills, and then track them down again to get them to take payment. Like, guys, I would have been so on top of this if I'd been allowed to, you know, do things.

Anyway the manager kept apologizing and insisting that it was usually never this disorganized, and people did have actual sections, but what I saw was basically servers aimlessly doing anything that needed doing at any table, so people saw, like, four or five different employees over the course of one lunch, and also I wasn't allowed to do the things I needed to do to keep things running smoothly. It's funny, I'm not very organized in my personal life (haha oh god you should see my desk right now), but in a work environment shit like this drives me crazy. I know it was my first day but I wanted to grab people, assign them to sections, and tell them to pay attention to their freakin' customers. I just felt so bad most of the time for being unable to get people their bills/food/etc in a timely manner because, you know, I wasn't allowed to.

Uh. Anyway. Yeah. I was more positive about this when I started writing, even, but just over the course of the afternoon I've just been getting increasingly annoyed about the entire series of events. The manager wants me back in on Thursday for another trial after everything settles down and people get the cash system sorted out, but obviously I'm going to continue doing interviews and dropping off resumes until then. I've got an interview tomorrow for a receptionist position at another restaurant near me that I've actually been to and love love love, so maybe that will go well! Also, it's run by a larger company, which I think is something I like better than working for a personally-owned/independent place. I like structure that allows you freedom but is still, you know, structure. Not "everyone run around everywhere fun time!"

Whew. Unexpected rant time over.

6) Applied to the BBC TV Production Trainee position!
I had a coupon for £1 for a coffee at a new coffee shop that just replaced a really obnoxious nightclub at Piccadilly Circus (this transition made my entire life complete), so I took my ass there and did the entire application in under two hours. I feel really good about it. They encouraged creativity, so I wrote a lot of it in a creative non-fiction style (not word-vomit nonsense like on LJ, but, you know, like a true short story about why I am awesome and have always been awesome and want the job so bad). The biggest challenge was having to analyze this 4.5 minute clip that was mostly jokes about football. I was all "Durrrrr IDGI?" (I actually raised the point that not everyone is into football and so it might not make sense to all listeners, but now I'm concerned that this will ruin my chances because, like...everyone here is into football? WHATEVER, HONESTY, MAYBE IT WILL WIN ME POINTS.) (Football: IstillDGI.)

7) CAME HOME, PHEW.
And now I am going to get ready for bed (at 9:10 PM hahahaha! I'm tired, leave me alone) and read some fanfiction or watch Fringe or Star Trek or read more Kraken or write or, you know......something science fiction related. Because, hi, have we met?

OKAY, NIGHT. SMILE TIME.

P.S. I kept hearing this song at Starbucks and finally got around to Googling it, and I really really love it. Basically any song that has the words "stars" and "satellites" in it, I will love, as a general rule.

Writer's Block: Double vision
futurama: in the stars
gorthead
If there was a parallel universe, in what ways would you want your double to differ from you?


What do you mean if...?

"no passing out of, what, sacred calamari?"
futurama: leela
gorthead
Wow, guys. Today I did ALL OF THE THINGS.

1) Read half a novel(la).
It was Stephen King's Rage, and it was the final half. I started it on Friday and it made me laugh out loud more than I would care to admit. He just nails high school; it's almost terrifying. Some of the shit in this hit so very close to home (not Charlie Decker's bits, don't worry) it was uncomfortable. STEPHEN KING, YOU KNOW MY SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD SOUL.

2) Got a job (provisionally).
See, here is how this went: I woke up at 8 AM, but nothing is open really until noon on Sundays. I sat around in my apartment faffing around on the internet and getting ready for just over an hour, then went to Starbucks, where I finished reading my book. By that time it still wasn't even 11, but I decided I'd stroll down the Kings Road and pop in to cafes and things that happened to be open. The second place I went, Manicomio, is in Duke of York Square, right next to the Saatchi Gallery (one of my favourites). I just figured, "Hey, what the heck, this location would be the most perfect ever" and strolled in. Within 5 minutes I was having a chat with the manager and she invited me in for a trial shift tomorrow! I mean, the position isn't guaranteed mine yet, since I don't have actual serving experience, but I feel like I can rock this. She seemed pretty impressed with my general ability to function like a human being and speak English coherently, plus all my retail/customer service experience, so...GOOD VIBES, SEND THEM TO ME, OK?

3) Went to the Saatchi Gallery.
Obviously, since it was right next door (and free). I went to visit a few of my favourite paintings, then went for a stroll.

4) Started reading Kraken by China Miéville and HOLY JESUS YOU GUYS IT IS SO GOOD.
I've just been spazzing about this book with Meghan on MSN because IT IS UNBELIEVABLY CRAZY. IN EVERY GOOD WAY POSSIBLE. It reads like a JJ Abrams show, if JJ were super-English and cross-bred with Stephen King. Maybe a little Tarantino in there. WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IS THAT IT IS THE BIGGEST MINDFUCK OF ALL TIME. I'm only 120 pages in and have already had multiple "WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY LIFE" moments. This has never ever happened to me in a book to this extent. I mean, yes, I get sucked in and feel compelled to keep reading to find out what happens next, but this shit has honest-to-god cliffhangers at the end of chapters that remind me of the final few minutes of episodes of Alias or Lost or Fringe (which I am also just getting into!) that are just GAME-CHANGERS where you're all "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, TELEVISION! I TRUSTED YOU!" ANYWAY, UM, MUST READ EVERY ONE OF HIS BOOKS EVER PUBLISHED IMMEDIATELY?

5) Went to the Natural History Museum.
Bits of Kraken are set there and it was basically just up the road, so, you know, obviously. It was unbelievably crowded so I didn't spend very long there, but I haaaaave to go back during the day on a weekday when it is more sane. I did find this: It is the real name of an animal, I swear.Collapse ) I didn't have a map and had never been there before so the entire 45 minutes I spent there consisted of me wandering around aimlessly looking amazed at everything, but this is legitimately the first sign I read. And it is nowhere near the entrance of the museum. I just powered aimlessly in one direction until I got to a room full of whales, and then this, for some reason, was in the back corner. I don't even know, but I love it.

6) Had a really tasty baguette from Le Pain Quotidien.
It was really thinly sliced chicken (but real chicken, off a chicken, not cold cuts! NOM) with tomatoes (in chunks, not slices, which is the only way they should be in a sandwich in my opinion!) and spicy mayo and it was super-delicious, so thanks for that, Pain! You are super great.

7) Skyped with my mom & grandparents.
I had been BBMing with my mom all day, so this was pretty uneventful. I feel like Skype dates are becoming pointless because we honestly BBM each other daily, so there isn't much to say. We just sort of sit there staring at each other going "Soooooooo do you have plans tonight?" "Nope. How is the dog?" "Good. I cleaned the basement yesterday." "Cool. I did laundry." Also my grandpa is deaf, so he just repeats over and over that I look good and why is it dark over there (time zones: they are a real thing) and my grandma is easily overwhelmed so she just repeats over and over "wow the computer is amazing!" re: Skype. We have been Skyping almost weekly for 6 months now, but, I mean, I guess it is! I still remember when "video chatting" was a thing "of the future" in Spaceship Earth at EPCOT and I was all "THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN, THAT IS CRAZY TALK". Man, what did I know at age 11.

Okay, I guess that is not all of the things, but it was a lot of them!! I feel good about my day!!

Now: KRAKEN.
Tags: ,

possible employment opportunities: i has them.
st tos: logical
gorthead
I am applying for a (very) well-paid Production Trainee position at the BBC, and I am scurred! It begins in September, which would be perfect, and still allow for me to run around making money and traveling about Europe in the summer. This is exactly the type of position I always wanted to apply for when I was still in school, but 1) I was still in school, and 2) I had no actual experience to speak of. Now I'm free and have six months at a film production company under my belt, so my chances just skyrocketed, I think.

The part of the application I'm most nervous about is having to do a one-minute pitch for a TV show idea, due in April. UHHHHHH. I have a few ideas, but having to pitch an entire TV show in a minute? No...big...deal? I guess a big part of it will be communicating without pausing and going UM UM UM DURRR every other sentence. And, hey, it doesn't say anything about not being allowed to edit it!! Maybe I can put in a billion Lucas-style transitions between me just popping in from out of frame to exclaim things like "SPACE!" and "MAKE-OUTS!" (How bad would you want me working for you if you were a TV producer right now? Did I just blow your mind?)

Anyway, man, the real world is kind of awesome. So many options for things to do!

In regularly scheduled nerdy news, just now I was composing fic snippets in my head while I was in the shower, and one idea I had involved Kirk confronting Spock about keeping some info to himself and being all "I thought Vulcans couldn't lie!", then Spock replying "Withholding the truth, Captain, is not the same as telling a lie." Then I put on an episode of TOS (The Enterprise Incident) only to find that Spock says basically that exact thing almost verbatim ("it is not a lie to keep the truth to oneself"). Obviously this is a pretty basic philosophical debate, but still! Characterization win? Hahaha.

This is super-weird, but I also just realized that Kirk & Spock kind of remind me of Jacen & Tenel Ka. One of them is all "I am super serious :| Your jokes evade me but I'll humour you cause you're cute" and then the other is kind of a big dork (do...I even need to give examples here?) who are all "YAY ADVENTURES" and are extra-loyal and driven by instinct/emotion. PERSONALITY TYPES: THEY ARE A THING.

P.S. Exhausted foreverrrrr, and I don't know why! Lame :(

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